A Student's Name Is Not Mine

This may be the best example of student ineptitude that I can provide. Students submit their papers online, and because I have to download them, I prefer that they save them a certain way. It simply saves me some time. If the papers are not all saved the same way, chaos ensues, as when I return the papers, I am not sure whose paper’s whose. So in order to save time, and not have to re-save them in the manner that is uniform, I had a rather minor, but significant thought: why not ask the students to save it the way I want? Yes, brilliant idea.

So even if only, say, 75% of the students saved the documents the way I ask, it would still save me time. (As all teachers surely understand, one realizes that no matter how clearly, how thoroughly, or how often one presents information, information that requires no thought at all, some students inexplicably fail to follow through—attrition, as it were). So then I supplied instructions as to the manner I want the documents saved. It reads this way on my syllabus:

* Post your outline and paragraphs as a single document and attachment. Use you first initial, period, last name, period and week. For example r.peltier.wk2.

You see I supplied an example using my name. I thought this would be helpful—for one it was not. This apparently confused a student, for, I swear, I received a paper saved r.peltier.wk2. I did not write this paper, I assure you—instead I evaluate them.

This is not a freshman, but rather an adult student. Well, that’s a bit inaccurate as technically the vast majority of college students are “adults.” But this is a non-traditional, a little older than 18ish age, where new concepts, ideas and commonsense are often in short supply. What, I honestly wonder, was the student thinking when she read the instructions? That I wanted every document saved with my name? Though I often have a burdensome ego, it is hardly that large. Seriously, the lack of common sense makes me wonder how people make it through life without a helmet or training wheels for that matter. Perhaps, and I wish I had the balls to do this, I should simply fail the assignment because she failed to follow through with the instructions. Indeed, that would save me some time, which you might recall was the reason for the instructions in the first place.